When ‘I don’t know’ is a dodge

How often have you said, “I don’t know” when what you really mean is, “I don’t want to say” or “I’m afraid to admit it”? We deny the truth to others, perhaps even to ourselves, and in doing so we lose a little bit of the authority that comes to us through the virtues of honesty and courage.

Sometimes we hide behind a feigned ignorance because we’re afraid of consequences. The leaders opposing Jesus in today’s Gospel have carefully calculated the possible responses to Jesus’ question and refuse to answer. They’re far more concerned about their reputations (and perhaps their personal safety) with the crowds than they are about the will and authority of God. Jesus dismisses them, knowing that they will never understand his teaching and that they have no real power over him. As Christians and followers of the truth, we need to avoid this sort of calculated response, and that isn’t always easy.

Other times we aren’t fully aware that something we sense deep in our hearts is going to make us change our lives. As a friend of mine is irritatingly fond of saying, “Once we know, we have to change.” And so we hide behind a smokescreen, a waffling response. We pretend not to notice the medical dangers of smoking or over-eating or the addictive dangers of prescription pain medication. We deny that we’re looking for answers to life’s problems in a bottle of brandy. We pretend that problems in our careers or our relationships will go away on their own or aren’t really there. Someone confronts us and we hide inside protective shells and say, “I don’t know.”

The authority that underlies Jesus’ teachings and his very life is available to us as well. It’s the authority encoded in us as tightly as our DNA. It comes from the God in whose image we are made. And if we reach for that authority in difficult situations, we will find ourselves speaking the truth, even when it’s hard, rather than pretending that we don’t know who–and whose–we are.